When God’s forgiven you, but you can’t forgive yourself…

beach wedding locationsSo, you’ve confessed, repented, completed the 12 steps, apologized, denied, bargained, accepted, etc. etc. etc. You’ve read the self help books, talked to your pastor, counselor, and those that you trust. You’ve memorized the scriptures, the mantras, and every positive affirmation your brain could possibly absorb. You know that God’s word says He has forgiven you of all that you turn over to Him, the problem is that you just can’t forgive one person… yourself.

Maybe its because you still feel the guilt of that baggage weighing so heavily on your heart, no matter how much you try to smile and convince yourself and others that you’ve “moved on”. Maybe its because you can’t let go of the shame that still creeps its way into your mind, keeping you up when the world has long fallen asleep. Or maybe its that deep down, you feel you don’t deserve forgiveness. You know what is true in your head, but you just don’t feel it in your heart.

So… now what? What do you do when you feel like no matter what, you’ll never be able to forgive yourself for that moment, that season, that person, that mistake? To this, I have to ask one simple, yet profound question: Do you really believe God is who He says He is? If we don’t, then that unforgiveness you’re harboring over your own heart makes perfect sense. If the God of the universe isn’t really who He says He is, then of course your sins can’t be magically “cleansed” and your heart “made new”. If the God who formed you in your mother’s womb isn’t really who He says He is, then obviously He can’t truly “save us from all uncleanness”, or “redeem us from every lawless deed” or give us the gift of grace for absolutely no other reason other than His love for us. But, if He is… if He really is the same God that would use a doubter, a liar, a cheater, a MURDERER to show His glory, His grace, and His love for us, then surely, in the midst of your brokenness, He can use YOU.

And if the Lord over all of heaven and earth, really has called YOU according to His divine purpose, for reasons beyond what our eyes can see, and if He really knows you in the deepest parts of your soul, sees your guilt, shame, anger, unforgiveness, and loves you regardless.. Than who are we to hold our opinions of ourselves above Gods calling over our lives? We can’t be aligned in His will while simultaneously saying “Well God I know what you said, but I don’t deserve to be forgiven”. Of course you don’t! None of us do. And thats what makes God… well, GOD.

So the next time you’re questioning why you can’t forgive yourself, I urge you to dig deeper into the root of that burden, and ask, “Who is my God, and do I believe He is who He says He is?”, and not just memorize fluffy scriptures and positive quotes, but truly get to know Him. Get to know Him as the loving Father and friend that He is, from the inside out, and I promise, as He shatters every false perception you’ve held onto about yourself, you will slowly, but surely, find forgiveness.


All my love,


When is it going to be MY time? The one piece of advice I wish someone would have told me.


When is it going to be my time? What I wish someone would have told me.When is it going to be my time? 

I asked when I was little girl, and wanted to be moved up to the competitive gymnastics team like everyone else. I asked when I was in middle school, and everyone else was allowed to wear makeup but me. I asked when I graduated college, and everyone seemed to be getting their dream jobs, or traveling the world, but me. I asked when I saw life unfolding for my friends with new families, babies, homes, and careers. I asked when I saw worship leaders pouring their hearts out on stage, before the door was opened for me. God, when is it going to be MY time?

Have you ever felt like that? Usually the answers to these types of questions sound something like, “Be patient, it will be your time someday”, or, “Good things come to those who wait”. True and true. But there’s one truth that I wish I could’ve grasped onto much sooner. Something that now resonates with me, and has completely changed my life. Something I want to share with you.

Your time is NOW. You just need to answer this….for what? It’s not that you just need to wait and look forward to “your time” and all of the things you long for; you need to understand that HERE and NOW, there is purpose. It IS your time. It just might not be for what your eyes are fixated on. Maybe right now is a season of preparation. I think back now, what if my gymnastics coaches had decided to let me compete when I wanted to? I probably would have gone out on to perform, and soon realized that I wasn’t at all ready. I likely would have ended up embarrassed, or  worse, extremely injured. See, it was my time to practice, to train, to strengthen my skill set. And had it not been for the coaches that redirected my mindset to laying that solid foundation first, I might have wallowed in disappointment and frustration rather than working as hard as I could to prepare to compete.

Could you imagine a pilot being entrusted to transport hundreds of people to a location, without having the proper training first? Or receiving that dream job when you weren’t yet ready for the responsibilities of it, and then losing it? Or God bringing your future husband into your life and you missing it because you were on Tinder swiping right at every decent looking picture you saw (also I just had to Google if swiping right was good or bad – I’m out of touch, whatever… you get it).

It’s exciting to think about the future, to think about our destiny, about where we will be in 5 years, or how our life will end up panning out, don’t get me wrong. But next time you start to ask, “When is it going to be my time?”, try changing that question to, “What can I do with the time I have RIGHT now? What is it my time to learn, to achieve, or to grow from?” Because when it comes down to it, all we really have is right here, right now. And you won’t get this time back.

 What do people really get for all their hard work?  I have seen the burden God has placed on us all.  Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.  So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.

Ecclesiates 3:9-12

With the Father’s love,


Uprooted: One Year Later

8A843412-54CD-47AA-A2FF-97C9C69797BDExactly one year ago today I packed up my car, and left my little beach town, stepping out in faith as I uprooted and moved to Texas. I remember so vividly the day I heard God telling me it was time to move, though I didn’t know where at the time, or what I was going to do when I got wherever “there” was. And I didn’t understand then, all that I do now. I mean, I had a good job, a great support system — so, why would I need to move? I’d just recently left a toxic relationship a few months before, and I was ready for whatever God had for me (or so I thought).  When I finally made the decision to surrender my plans for His (after many tears, a little bit of fighting back.. okay maybe a lot, and countless signs from Him), this door opened up almost immediately, and I knew where I had to go. I left my job, all of my family in Florida, my friends, my church, my comfort, to embark on this journey. I prayed that God would open up doors for me in ministry, in music, in business, and in personal growth as I followed Him. In those months leading up to my move, I heard God reveal the verse Ephesians 3:20 to me over and over again. And, as our God does, He has blessed me exceedingly, and abundantly beyond anything that I could’ve thought or imagined.

365 days later, I am writing this after leading worship for two services, one of which was my very first time leading as a solo vocalist at a friend’s church. 365 days later I am blessed to watch hungry hearts run to the alter week after week, surrendering their hearts to our King as I pour mine out before Him. 365 days later, I look at TheHiddenPromise.com,  a seed that God planted in my heart so long ago, but continued to prune me, molding my heart until His promise was ready to be revealed. 365 days later, I reflect on some of the most genuine friends I’ve made here; the kind of friends who push you to greatness, the kind of friends who pray over you, the kind of friends who speak life into you and nurture your spirit. I reflect on my relationship with D; a relationship that not only honors and respects me, but honors God and draws me nearer to Him. A relationship that constantly leaves me wondering where God had kept him all my life — and the truth is, it wasn’t until this move, that I was ready for it.

This morning, the Lord woke me up and told me, “You were created for such a time as this”. One year later, and I understand why I felt that initial pull to move. Why it had to be in the exact timing that it was. Why I’d had so many dreams and visions of leading God’s people in worship, even though the only time my voice was heard back then was in the car or the shower (you’re welcome fam, lol). You know something? In both services I attended today (two different churches, two pastors, two completely different messages) the same exact verse came up.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. – Isaiah 55:8-9

His plans were so much greater than I could fathom. All He needed from me was the obedience in taking that first step — all He needed was my surrender, my “Yes”, and my heart to trust that even though I couldn’t see where we were going, I knew He would provide.

One year has gone by, and I know now, this is only the beginning. And if there’s anything that I can tell you as I reflect on this year, it is this: God wants your WHOLE heart. He wants to be your plan A, your plan B, and your complete power source. You have NO idea what He has in store for you, but it takes your unwavering faith as He draws you deeper into your purpose. So, say yes. Take that step. Move to that city. Leave that toxic relationship. Get out of your comfort zone. Seek Him in the silent seasons, and trust that sometimes, preparation requires isolation. Spend time in His presence, and listen to the signs that He’s been giving you. And if you need one? This is it. Here is your sign. The time is now, and I promise you, it is so, so worth it.